I feel like I spent the entire night getting beat up from the inside.
Because that’s what happened.
After being fairly calm all day yesterday, Isla decided last night was her time to have a dance party. She was kicking and moving all night…unless I was laying on my right side. Of course, then she’d get all snuggled up on her back on the bed, so that when I needed to get up to go pee, which happened 5 or 6 times last night, I physically couldn’t get off the bed. Because I have what I’m guessing is a 7 lb. infant chilling out on one side of my stomach anchoring me to the bed.
So I tried not to sleep on my right side, because it was so painful trying to get up if I did, BUT my right hip kept falling asleep no matter how I propped it up when I was on my left side, and I have something going on with my sinuses so that any time I lay on my left side, I get what feels like a simultaneous headache and toothache that involves the entire right side of my mouth. It feels like the right side of my head is being caved in or something.
And then there’s the drool. I’ve always been a little drooly. Thanks to chronic allergies, I’ve slept with my mouth wide open pretty much my entire life, and sometimes, especially when I’m sleeping heavily, I’ll drool. Pregnancy has taken this to whole new levels. I now wake up 3-4 times a night laying in a full-blown PUDDLE on my pillow, and it’s not a small puddle. And sometimes, SOMETIMES, when the angle of the pillow and my body are just right, the entire thing will run down my neck and chest and INTO MY CLEAVAGE (which I now have a whooooole lot of.)
Waking up with drool all over my boobs, though, is actually superior to waking up to a mouth full of yuck because I’ve got epic heartburn and keep burping up half-digested parts of my dinner, even though I’ve completely reworked my diet so that in the evenings I’m eating smaller portions of bland foods to avoid just this sort of thing happening.
So if I’m not waking up because the baby is kicking the crap out of me, because I’ve got to pee, because my hip is asleep, because of intense sinus pain, because I’m soaking wet thanks to all my drooling, or because I’ve burped up my dinner in my sleep, I’m having nightmares about serial killers and high school. Serial killers who are stalking me and mindfucking me, and trying to organize my high school activities so I can get into college and not being able to work it out. Really, brain? Why can’t you have normal pregnancy dreams, like dreaming that your baby can talk or that you’re nursing a cat or something? That would make so much more sense!
Even though I was in bed for 8 full hours last night, I feel like I maybe slept—really slept—2. My whole body hurts. I just want to destroy EVERYTHING. Please, please, please, baby, come out soon.
